Monday, August 18, 2003
Not My Kid

Today's Daytona Beach News-Journal has this story about parents griping that their kids who go to all-ages nights at local "night clubs" get roughed up when they act like total jerks in public.

Believe me, I'm not defending bouncers: A bouncer I once knew who worked at an ABC Liquor/Lounge in Orlando was a complete loser. The sheriff's deputies knocked on my door one time at 6:00 a.m. in the morning to see if I knew where he was, because they had a warrant to serve him for bouncing someone too hard. Bouncers can be complete and total creeps. The story contains at least one reported instance of some kids definitely getting bounced too hard.

But who are these loser parents who let their kids go to all-ages nights at these places. In my estimation, the same kind of parents who very rarely, if ever, see the evil that their little monsters do unto others. If I had a dollar for every time some perp's parents had uttered to some media tool the immortal words, "It couldn't've been our son," I'd be a rich man.

Take a ride on the clue bus, los locos parentes, it very well could've been, and it very likely was.

The local DJ is not sufficient reason for letting your budding criminals out of your sights. Quit letting your underage kids hang around bars, unless there's a really, really, good band playing. And if there is, then why don't you join them? It'll embarrass the hell out of them.