Wednesday, May 29, 2002
Gay marriage. Andrew Sullivan has a post here (look! A permalink! -- Thanks!) about gay marriage.
My partner/lover/unindicted-co-conspiritor and I have never settled the issue of what we would do if we could get married. It would certainly make easier a lot of the legal hoops and hurdles we have to jump through and over just to institute similar legal protections regarding health and death that our married straight counterparts get. And it would ensure financial and other material employment benefits that many employers limit now to their legally married straight employees. (I know. I'm working on domestic-partner benefits with my own employer. It's like pulling teeth to try and get some movement there.)
We consider ourselves married in almost all ways. Our families treat us like a married couple, and our lives pretty much resemble in many ways the lives of any other couple that's been together for multiple years (7+, in our case).
Still, there are advantages to not using the marriage model, and they don't all involve the use of what Sullivan characterizes as left-wing labels of patriarchy, etc. It's just simply easier to dissolve the relationship when you're not legally married, if the time should ever come to do that, and that's not an awful thing. Of course, you do so, if you do so, without some of the legal protections that divorce procedings involve, and that's not necessarily a good thing.